Racism - pre-9/11, post-9/11, and since Trump.

While walking my dog yesterday, a man I often make small talk with at the park made the following statement with a tone of consolatory reassurance: 

"Well, it's been three days and Trump hasn't ended the world yet." 

I let him know that while that may be true, the daily lives of many Americans have changed thanks to the increase in violent attacks, threats, and racist slurs. I reminded him that the world did not end with 9/11 but it changed forever, and the immediate aftermath was for some of us a very scary and hurtful time. The sad truth is, Trump's America will be a scarier place than post-9/11 America was.

Racism is something I've experienced to some degree my entire life as a person of color, but it was different before 9/11 and since then. Today, I think it's evolving again. My analysis of racism in America is as it pertains to my personal experience as a brown asian woman -- and I do not purport to speak on behalf of others. I fully acknowledge that racism is different across all groups, and often experienced differently by men and women of the same groups. 

As an immigrant child growing up in the U.S. in the 80s, my experience was based on exclusion and ignorance. People had no idea where my native country was -- "Afghanistan, is that in Africa?" As a young girl during ages when one's self-image is so fragile, I had no role models in the media who were women of color like me, so I felt a sense of shame and self-criticism for not being anything like the white models and actors I would see on TV or in magazines. I would get made fun of by my peers for my dark skin, prominent nose, dark curly hair. Bullies would call me a foreigner, but they weren't bullying me because I was a foreigner -- they were bullying me because they were assholes and I was just another target. I would be made fun of by my peers for speaking a different language at home, eating different food than they do, having a different culture and traditions to follow. I lived in the DC area, however, so being a minority was not uncommon. With each year, diversity increased and with it grew an understanding of other cultures. People asked questions about my ethnicity, usually by making assumptions. "Are you from India? You look indian." "You must be muslim." "You're not asian, you look middle eastern." Or they'd ask stupid presumptuous questions upon initial interaction. "Do you speak english?" "How come you don't speak with an accent?"   

None of this was comfortable but it certainly wasn't threatening. It was racial prejudice based in ignorance and I like to think I helped shape some people's knowledge and experience even just a little bit. 

9/11 left us grieving and fearing like no other event in recent modern history. On that dreadful day, I was huddled with coworkers in tears and solidarity as we watched the attacks happening. That night, I was huddled with friends glued to the news watching how our nation prepared to respond -- and the first step included American forces in Afghanistan beginning what has been the longest American war in history. 

The aftermath of 9/11 included a new type of racism I had never experienced before -- one that was based in fear. This racism was one that left me uncertain how to change perceptions. 

My mother received death threats because she owned an Afghan restaurant. She had protection thanks to unconstitutional monitoring from the FBI. I had people shout "taliban!" or "terrorist!" at me. I was on an elevator with my laptop and notepad going up to a client meeting when the doors opened a few floors before my destination and a man and woman were waiting to come onto the elevator -- the man saw me and stopped, the woman questioned him, and he responded while looking right at me with "I don't know if she's got a bomb or something, I'm not getting on the elevator." I could give more examples but you get the idea. 

Today's racism is based purely on hate and an actual belief in white superiority. Trump's success in the 2016 election was secured in part due to his appeal to the racist bigots who want to "Make America White Again". In Trump's America, my 10 year old cousin has already been called a terrorist and told to "go home". Women in hijab have been attacked and threatened. A teacher was told to hang herself with her headscarf. A teacher stood by doing nothing while students chanted "build a wall" to their hispanic/latino peers. Another teacher himself told students their parents would be deported. A black woman was told by a white man that soon it would be legal for him to own her again. Hindi students were shoved off a bus. Graffiti has marked cities across the nation with swastikas and racist threats. It doesn't end. There are literally tens of thousands of similar stories from just the past few days.

So yeah, Trump hasn't ended the world yet. However, he has fueled hatred and validated openly racist behavior without remorse. He has made this nation more unsafe. It feels like the end of the world as we know it, and I'm afraid of what's still to come. With the definitive shift from ignorance to fear to hate, I feel lost and hopeless about how to overcome racism. As a brown American, I can provide context, I can try to quell fear, but I have no idea how to stop hate. 

#brownamerican #racism #prejudice #since911

 

What Privileged People Need to Understand About Trump's Threats

At initial glance, this felt like one of the truest statements made about the 2016 election. Somewhat back-handed, it is directed at the privileged people who voted for Donald Trump because he doesn't threaten their human rights. No one should accept his racism or his many other unforgivable qualities, but it is to some extent understandable that privilege makes it difficult to see or understand the gravity of his words and actions. There are so many types of privilege at play here, predominantly the following:  

Male privilege. This could make it understandable how one could overlook sexual assault and misogyny against women. Men do not feel threatened on a daily basis because of their gender, so perhaps it's difficult to see how policies that take away a woman's choice over her own body or a legal system that doesn't protect women against rape and assault are serious concerns under Trump's presidency. It's not the first thing to come to mind for someone who is not personally affected. 

White privilege. This could make it understandable how one could not take seriously the threats against minorities and immigrants. White people haven't experienced racism so perhaps it's difficult to see how social policies designed to suppress others based on race are a real thing and will become more probable under Trump's presidency. Most white voters probably didn't even realize or think about this possibility because it's never been something they've needed to be aware of themselves.  

Socio-economic privilege. This could make it understandable how someone could not fear the impact of economic destruction and the repeal of affordable healthcare. If you've never had to worry about earning enough money to keep a roof over your head, if you've never had to weigh the cost of medical treatment against the effects of prolonged suffering, if you've never had to be thankful for social programs that allow your child to eat lunch at school because you can't afford to feed them -- it makes sense you wouldn't be able to see the financial fears people have about Trump's presidency.  

Heterosexual privilege. This could make it understandable how someone could not fear the impact of policy changes that will not cause any change in daily life for heterosexual people. Meanwhile, my trans friends are concerned with legality of their name changes and access to healthcare. My gay friends are concerned with the recognition of their marriage. My queer friends across the spectrum are concerned with threats of violence or discrimination in the workplace or with housing. Someone who is straight and doesn't personally know any LGBT people may not realize how much Trump's presidency threatens to change. 

Seriously though, despite privilege, you should be capable of seeing what a dangerous president Trump will be. 

It does not require having a penis to understand that a president needs to not be hateful and violent toward women. Plenty of men voted and continue to petition against Trump because although they are male, they have women in their lives they respect and love. Plenty of men without a specific woman in their life whom they feel the need to protect are just plain capable of seeing men and women as equals and care about human rights. 

Being white is not an excuse either. One doesn't have to be threatened personally to understand a threat against another human being is just plain wrong. You can be white and still be abhorred by the violence Trump encouraged against black people at his rallies. You don't even have to personally know any illegal Mexican immigrants to know they're not all "rapists and criminals". You don't see racism with your skin color, you see it with your eyes. You know it with your brain. And yes, regardless of your own race, you can feel it in your heart when your fellow humans are being attacked and threatened. 

Wealthy individuals may benefit from paying less in taxes and may not be personally concerned with affordable healthcare or the volatile changes to real estate and global economy, but any individual with half a brain should understand the long-lasting impact an economic downturn has not only on our nation of 325 or so million people but also across the world. No one should want the economy destroyed, even rich folks.  

You can be straight and still understand that roughly 9 million people are not and they deserve the same rights you have -- for marriage, housing, employment, financial loans, adoption, healthcare, use of public restrooms, freedom from violence, etc. 

Still, perhaps people of privilege can be excused for their ignorance, but what about the Trump voters who fall into into the many non-privileged groups his campaign has promised to harm?  

By far, the data I've found most incomprehensible is the statistical breakdown of actual Trump voters that exposes how many women and minorities voted for him. It would make sense perhaps if women and people of color voted for him because they fell into the third category of privilege I listed above - that of a higher socio-economic class. However, media reports show that many of them are poor and struggling -- hopeful for some sort of change. Could they feel so far removed from personal impact of his platform that they don't feel a threat? Could they be so un-educated that they can't understand the change they need is not the one they'll get? 

According to exit polls published on NY Times  42% of women voted for Trump. They voted for a man who bragged about being a sexual predator and who has disrespected women countless times and is facing charges for raping a 13 year old girl. It is unbelievable to me that any woman would throw her morals aside to cast a vote for him. He also garnered support from people of color who voted for him -- 8% of black voters, 29% of hispanic/latino voters, 29% of asian voters, and 37% of voters who identified as "other" did too. While exit polls are not accurately representative of nationwide statistics, these numbers are far greater than I'd expect for a man who has openly insulted blacks, hispanics/latinos, and asians throughout his campaigns. 5% of people who identify as LGBT voted for Trump!! This is a man whose campaign stands against many policies protecting the rights of the LGBT population, how can any LGBT person be okay with what this means for their community? An overwhelming number of people voted for Trump simply because they felt a needed change. Change is coming, and I hope the people who voted for him understand they are responsible for the damages these changes will bring. 

Lastly, it's important to note that nearly 47% of the U.S. population eligible to vote -- didn't. At all. They simply chose not to vote in our modern history's most critical election. These people are equally implicated in whatever may come as a result of their inaction. These people are just as responsible for electing a racist, misogynistic, and homophobic president who will cause great harm to so many people.   

A racist president will not protect people of color from being relegated to second-class citizenship, he will not protect us from violent attacks from the racist America he has revived, he will not protect us from discrimination in the workplace / housing market / financial institutions, and he most certainly will not protect American citizens of color and their families from the effects of deportation and immigration policy changes that were the foundation of his racist platform.   

A misogynist president will not protect women's rights to their own reproductive system, their healthcare access, their equal pay, or their rights to justice after assault. 

A homophobic president will not protect the rights to healthcare for trans people, the right to marriage for gay people, the right to live and work without discrimination and threats of violence. 

Circling back to the concept of privilege and how it plays a role in how people voted. My Trump-supporting friends stated they're not racist (and they don't believe Trump is racist) but that they voted for Trump based on policy. What their privilege prevents them from understanding is why racism matters in policy making. And while the quote at the top of this post is about racism, the election of Trump as our president will result in policies that have far wider impact across many groups of non-privileged people. This is something that people of privilege need to understand and acknowledge, and need to help prevent now that Trump is our president elect.  

#privilege #trump

Thank you, POC allies

Y'all know me as a vocal woman who regularly speaks out against racial and social injustices, and I thank you for the time you take to read my words or hear me out or engage me in private discussions. I thank you for understanding my need to speak out. I can't help it. My life-long activist mother raised me to stand up for what I believe in, to always try to raise awareness, and to try to help impact change through example and dialogue. So I try. Sometimes I even succeed and that makes it all worth it. Regardless, it's a fight I'll never give up on because I don't know how. I've been doing it my entire life.

I thank you for checking in on me and giving me your love and support. I appreciate so much all the messages that pour in from you to let me know you've got my back. It's still a relatively new feeling for people of color to have allies who 1) get it, 2) give a shit, 3) join the fight. And so I thank you. And I want you to know I know it's not easy.

While some of us have been doing this our entire lives because we've had to -- it's treading new waters for many of our allies who are finding themselves speaking out against family members and friends. I have been overwhelmed with pride seeing how many allies I have who are raising their voice against racism and civil injustice. I am fully aware and understand the struggles you face and the emotional exhaustion you're feeling. There is nothing easy about the confrontations you're having, the repetitive conversations you're having with people who aren't listening, and the criticism and insults you're absorbing as you're working to shield others from the hateful words of people you love.

It fucking sucks. I am so sorry. I completely understand when you want to just shut down and stay silent to avoid the pain and frustration that comes with speaking out. I want you to know I am so grateful and appreciate every bit of effort no matter how small you think it is -- the truth is, they are listening to you more than they have ever listened to us. We need you, allies. We need your strength. We need your solidarity. We will only be able to impact change by joining together. It won't be easy, but I thank you for joining the fight. Thank you for being you.

#pocallies #thankful #solidarity

Dear Trump Supporting Friends

Like most of my friends and family, election night and the following days I found myself in tears trying to process the ugly reality that is unfolding not only for our nation but the world. I am angry at myself for feeling optimistic the past few weeks despite my long-held belief that America has not yet overcome its racism, misogyny, and blatant stupidity enough to make the right choice. I am somewhat consoled that by the numbers, more people voted for progressiveness. and yet by the system which we uphold as a critical part of our democratic foundation, we enabled the election of an unqualified and dangerous demagogue as our next president. We are flawed. This is far from the change we needed.

I have very few friends who voted for Trump, and because I believe in democracy, I respect their right to do so despite my feelings about their choice or their personal values. I have known since long before this election that some of these friends are racist even though they cannot see that in themselves. I have chosen not to engage in discussions with them about politics or pretty much anything of any moral substance. I will continue to silently judge them for their support of a man who has openly been cruel to so many groups of people including me and people I love and including people I don't even know but care about because I have a heart. I will never excuse these friends for overlooking the immorality of a man who incited violence and exploited hatred with zero regard for humanity. There is nothing I can think of that can justify consciously choosing a man who sexually assaults women and young girls.

Sick of hearing people complain about the election results? It must be that you've never experienced racism and been the recipient of hatred. Lucky you. Think I'm being unreasonable and overreacting? Convince me please that I don't need to fear for the safety of my family. Show me if you can that my already marginalized friends will not see setbacks in their civil liberties. Reassure me that our economy will not be destroyed. Please promise our country will be safe from terrorist attacks. Maybe then I can stop worrying and lamenting the grave mistake we have made with this election. Until you can dissuade the fears, please understand that your gloating only sets us apart further because you've pledged your allegiance to a man whose vision of a great America is one without me in it.

#trump #trumpsupporters

If Not Now, When??

When will things change? Every day more heartache over lives lost at the hands of murderous police sanctioned by the racism and corruption that's insidiously growing across this country. This can't keep happening.

#blacklivesmatter